Love You Forever

Lately, Bears favorite bedtime book is Love You Forever.  If you've never heard of it, it's basically the story of a crazy mom who continues to sneak into her sleeping son's bedroom at night, pick him up, rock him and sing to him well into his adulthood. I'm assuming that it's not meant to be taken literally and the point is that the mother will always love her child with the same fierceness that she did when he was a baby. Here's the song:

I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My baby you'll be

Towards the end of the story, she tries to sing the song to her son but she's too old and sick, so instead, he picks her up, rocks her, and sings the song, substituting "mommy" for "baby." Then goes home to his new baby daughter and starts the singing/rocking tradition over with her. We've read it at least 30 times now but my voice still gets suspiciously husky toward the end.  I think it was Ryan's mom who got it for Bears when he was first born but I can't remember for sure.  It's really a good one though.  I highly recommend it.

The best part is that as I'm tucking him in to go to sleep, Bears likes me to sing the song again to him...except that I have to say "big boy" instead of baby. He's very insistent that he is the big boy and bitty Biscuits is the baby.  After I'm done, he puts his hand gently on my arm and sings the song back to me with "mommy" at the final line.  Blast it but it's a doozy.  Mostly because the song itself is a nostalgic reminder of how fleeting and precious these moments are.  I feel so very lucky that I get to be the mommy of this wonderful, troublesome,  loving, and rambunctious cub.

Out and About: The Strange Slew of Friendly People

You know those days where you feel isolated and disconnected even when surrounded by a sea of people? Seems like most of my days have been like that lately.  Normally when I go out with the boys, people walking by or waiting in line with us dutifully ignore our existence (I reciprocate, of course.  I am anything if not...not social. and also highly proficient with the use of double negatives.  but I digress).  The most we usually get are looks of disdain (when Bears is screaming) or pity (when they're both screaming). But not today.  I don't know what on earth happened but nearly every stranger we ran into treated us like family or old friends.

We started the day by going for a walk with Poopers, Kins, and Max.  It was some good times, as always, with good conversation and minimal tantrumming from the toddlers.  The strange happenings occurred when we headed out to the market after naps.  As we were waiting in line to return some items, the lady behind us struck up a conversation about her 3-year-old great grandson and how much she missed him, as she'd just started a full 2-year mission with her husband.  She was very sweet and tried to engage both boys while talking to me.  Soon the lady behind her started talking to us as even gave Bears his first piece of gum, for which he was ridiculously grateful and kept repeating "wow.  how neat!" over and over again while popping it in and out of his mouth.

After the return was over and we started out actual shopping, it seemed like every time we stopped to look at something, neighboring people would share some sort of anecdote about their own kids with me.  While waiting in the checkout line, a teenage couple behind us played silly games with Bears the entire 10 minutes that we were waiting and even narrated what Biscuits (riding on my back) was thinking, "MOMMMM...I'm pretty sick of being here, let's go HOooOOOMe."

As I was putting the groceries in the back of the car, Bears was yelling his heart out what sounded something like the 60's batman theme song, but I couldn't be certain...that is, I couldn't be certain until a lady roughly 20 yards a way from us started loudly singing "danna nanna nanna nanna na--BATMAN!" and then walked towards us and just as I was taking Bears out of the cart, takes the cart off my hands, says "some people never grow up," with a wink and heads into the store.  Whaaaa...? Is this the kind of thing that happens regularly to most people?  If so, I have really been missing out with all these years of hermitting about.  That is, going out while still managing to avoid just about all social interaction.

It feels so...foreign to feel this kind of connection with so many strangers in a normally non-social atmosphere. Almost makes me think that it might be worth coming out of my bubble so that instances like this won't be quite so rare.  Almost.

Moving Madness

This is Bears at around 6pm on the day after the move.  The whole process really tuckered him out.

Due to Biscuits not sleeping well, we decided to move into a 3 bedroom apartment a little over a week ago.  In that amount of time, he's gone from waking up around 10 times a night to only once last night.  The average lately hasn't been quite as amazing as last night but we haven't had more than 3 wakings per night since the first night here.  Hooray! We definitely seem to be well on our way towards getting plenty of sleep around here.  Poor little Biscuits just needed his own space.

Another bonus to this place is that we now have a little fenced yard for Lucy.  Not so much a big deal pre-kids since she's always been good about staying close (so long as I pay attention to her) but lately I've been so distracted by the boys that I'll often completely forget about her.  Not so good.  Especially when it's time to come back inside and I forget entirely that Lucy was even out with us to begin with so she gets left outside until I hear her scratching on the outside door.  I'm embarrassed to admit how many times I let this happen.  So...I won't.  In fact, I'm not officially admitting that it ever happened.  I was just speaking hypothetically. And because of the hypothetical happenings I just described, it's very nice to have a fence.

In all the chaos of moving, Bears was super pumped because all the baby proofing of our last place was gone and with piles of boxes everywhere, he could now get into anything he pleased.  He found a pretty gift box and decided to put a surprise in it for me.

He presented it to me with a very hopeful grin, obviously quite proud of himself:
(reenactment)

He told me that there was some tasty candy inside...


mmmm...delicious.
Well played, Bears, well played.

Later on, he gave me a terrible fright by dressing up as a LeprechaunKingShark:

Some pics of Biscuits and Daddy hanging out. I uh...can't think of how this ties in to the move.  Except in the sense that they were moving at the time.  And by that I mean that they weren't holding perfectly still.

The Many Faces of Biscuits

It seems that Ryan's beanie is very versatile.  I'm pretty sure that if one were so inclined, they could achieve nearly any look they desired.  Here are just a few examples:

Cap'n Biscuits!

Demure Biscuits

Smurf Biscuits

Guinan Biscuits

Just in case you're somehow out of the tng loop, this is Guinan:

Sailor Boy Biscuits

Robin Hood Biscuits

Daddy's Nightgown and Random Pics

Here's Biscuits, all ready for bed in the same cozy nightgown that his daddy wore when he was this age.

This is Bears at that same age.  I think they look really similar in a way.  Unfortunately, I didn't have the foresight to put him in his dad's nightgown as well for this photo.  I really dropped the ball on that one.

And here's a pic of them side by side, both looking appropriately creeped out. Crept out?  Spell check is really making me doubt myself on this one. Too bad I didn't have this nice camera back when Bears was tiny.  This really makes the difference in quality look dramatic.

I originally purchased this hat for myself but Bears seems to have commandeered it...at least for the time being.

Bears doing his best impression of Uncle Matt

Finger painting

Photo Shoot With Biscuits!

Now...let me preface this by saying that neither of us have gotten much sleep lately.  I think the quality is pretty impressive, considering.

Naturally, I decided that the best outfit would be a sleeper that he outgrew months ago with our unmade bed as the backdrop.  Believe it or not, these were actually subconscious decisions but in retrospect, I can't imagine anything better.

My happy boy.  I love his sweet smile.

"who...me?   I'm just sitting here like a gentleman with my hands in my lap, see?  Agghhh stop looking at me!" *nervously fiddles with toes while staring suspiciously at me*

Project Yosemite

One of my friends posted this video on facebook over a year ago and Bears has been obsessed with it ever since.  I don't know how many times we've watched it...it's somewhere in the hundreds now.  It still hasn't gotten old though.  Guess that really says something.

Yosemite HD from Project Yosemite on Vimeo.

Here's a clip of Bears watching it.  He gets pretty pumped every time.

And here's some Biscuits at bedtime

Nighttime Parenting

Just look at how pumped Bears is about bedtime!

We've been trying cry-it-out with Biscuits for a few months now.  With...less than ideal results.  When Biscuits was just a couple of months old, I started reading The No Cry Sleep Solution and dismissed it because (A) our issues were mostly with napping; his nighttime sleep had some issues but he'd regularly go 4-5 hour stretches between feedings and (B) It was impossible to implement the methods for no-cry napping without locking Bears away somewhere for several hours of the day.  Not really an option.  But now, Biscuits has developed some pretty good self-soothing skills for naptime.  What is an issue is the fact that he feels that he needs to nurse 6-12 times per night.  He's very adamant about it, in fact.  But it's just not ideal as far as either of us getting the sleep we need. and...I'm thinking that if cry it out hasn't worked by now, it's not going to. So I'm giving the No Cry book another go, since there should be no conflict with Bears in the middle of the night.  I'm so glad that Bears generally sleeps well.  I had no idea until now just how lucky I've been with him.

The first step that the author recommends is to make a detailed log of your night so that you can get a better perspective on any problems so that you can come up with the best solution.  Makes sense.  It reminds me of what they say to do in the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child which worked wonders for Bears when he was little.  Except with that, it also served to bolster your courage for cry it out because you could see concrete evidence that your baby's getting more sleep.

I decided that I may as well throw the log onto my blog for kicks.  And add in other non-biscuit-related details, since I figure if I'm gonna bother to do this, I may as well make a full record of our nights these days to have something fun to look back on.  As usual, I've added a ridiculous amount of detail and this thing's so long that it's basically unreadable.  I encourage you to try though.  You'll be rewarded with a surprise twist at the end.  (SPOILER: there is no actual surprise twist at the end)  Now you'll just have to read on to figure out which is actually true.

8:00 pm: Biscuits falls asleep happy in his bed
8:20 pm: We've gone through Bears' bedtime routine and he's all tucked in.
8:25 pm: "HELLLP!" (coming from Bears' room) Ryan goes in to check on him.  Bears is desperate for help with getting all his toys out.  He's devastated when Ryan tells him that it's not time for toys but tries to settle himself back down to sleep.
8:30 pm: same thing happens
8:35 pm: happens again
8:50 pm: ...and again.  I suppose I could save some time and just and write that this keeps happening until about 10:15.
10:16 pm: Ryan and I decide that it's about time to head to bed and for some reason, we discuss this for about a half hour.  I find that I try and stall going to bed since nights with Biscuits are so...exhausting.  I know, there's not much logic to my reasoning but there it is.
10:45 pm: take Lucy out to go potty and have to physically drag her out in order to get her to pee in the freezing cold.  I like to go out barefoot so that she has no real excuse in feeling overly sorry for herself.  Again, the logic of this tactic eludes even me.
10:46 pm: Lucy starts whining and pacing around right after coming inside.  We try to figure out what in the world she could want to no avail.  We head to bed.
10:50 pm: I hear Lucy continue to whine in the other room.  ugh.  Hopefully she'll settle down.
11:15 pm: Just as I'm drifting off to sleep, I hear her whining again.  It occurs to me that perhaps she's been avoiding pooping outside due to the cold and may possibly poop all over the living room if I don't go and help her. (ryan would inform me the next morning that she'd already pooped all over the place but he'd cleaned it all up by that time so I never had to actually witness it...and by some miracle, never stepped in it in the dark) I open the outside door for her and she makes a mad dash out into the night.  She must have still been holding in some serious poops.  Knowing her, she could have been holding it for days in order to avoid the cold.  She does not return for a full 20 minutes.  Serious poops, indeed.
11:35 pm: I snuggle up next to Ryan in the covers.  I can't believe that we haven't heard a peep from Biscuits for a full 3 1/2 hours now.  Maybe all this sleep training and stuffing-him-with-as-much-food-as-he'll-eat-during-the-day is finally starting to pay off.  We've been doing a form of cry-it-out for a few months now and it's the hardest, most heartbreaking thing I've ever had to do.  But when you've got a baby who wakes up about 10x in the night to nurse, what choice do you have? I had decided 10 days ago to not, under any circumstances, feed him until 1 am. before that I was only trying to get him to go for at least 2.5 hour stretches but his crying just kept bleeding into the okay time to feed him and I worried that I was positively reinforcing all that crying. I've read that once they start sleeping solid for 5 hours, you're really on your way to getting them to sleep constant, solid stretches.  Feeling more optimistic than I have in at least a month, I start to drift off...
11:40 pm: Biscuits starts to whimper.  Okay, I think to myself. I can do this.  I just have to stay strong and hold out for a little over an hour and then I can feed him.  I get up to give him a kiss and let him know it's not time to eat yet.  He screams with his whole heart as soon as I do this.  He really likes to make sure that I know, in no uncertain terms, that a kiss on the cheek is NOT what he was after.
12:10 pm: he starts to calm down and drift back to sleep.  ah.  not so bad.
12:11 pm:  he screams with renewed vigor after his minute-long power nap.  I go to him, give him a kiss, and tell him it's not time yet.  His pathetic cries (of course) skyrocket to super sonic levels.  He continues to cry with all his might.
1:00 am: Even though it's time to feed him, I know that if I feed him right now it'll seem like I'm responding to his crying and it'll just undermine the whole thing.  But I can't stand laying next to him anymore so with a huge lump in my throat, I head to the living room to google 'infant sleep problem solutions' so that I can at least feel like I'm doing something useful.  In my deluded state, I foolishly click on the first few links instead of actually searching for legitimate research articles.  I know better than to just read forums where any random parent can passionately tout their opinion.  Normally I do, anyway.  But not last night.  I kept reading account after account of people saying with total confidence that letting your baby cry is the worst thing you can possibly do and if there was any justice in the world, child protective services would swoop in and save children from anyone who would attempt to abuse them in such a fashion.
1:15 am: By this time, tears are streaming down my face and I just can't take it anymore. As soon as he quiets down for around 10 seconds,  I rush in and swoop Biscuits into my arms.  He's so upset that it takes him a minute to calm down enough to nurse but once he does, he drinks like a starving man and drinks everything I've got within 15 minutes (approx 8 oz).
1:30 am: he's wide awake from either the trauma of so much crying or elation from finally getting what he wants.  Maybe both.  Either way, he's not gonna be sleeping anytime soon.  I lay him down in his crib and turn his various mobiles on, hoping that they'll entertain him till he gets sleepy.  He happily squeals at them for about 15 minutes but then starts making frustrated sounds.  I look over and he's somehow managed to reach one of the animals on his mobile and is frantically trying to stuff it in his mouth.  I put the mobile back in it's proper position and receive an outraged cry from him in return.
1:50 am: he continues to get more and more upset and anything that I can think to do for him just infuriates him further.  Sigh.  Guess I'll give in and try nursing him again.
2:30 am: He starts to get really calm while nursing and I put him down in his crib before he fully drifts off.  He falls asleep happily.
2:45 am:  I fall asleep for the first time that night.  It's bliss.
4:00 am: Biscuits wakes up, desperate to nurse again.  I nurse him for about 20 minutes and put him back to bed.
5:00 am: same thing
5:50 am: same thing
6:30 am: Biscuits wakes up, wants to nurse for about 40 minutes, and poops.
7:20 am: I change him and put him back in his crib, hoping that his mobile will buy me a few more minutes of sleep.
7:35 am: He's getting upset so I get his bouncer chair and put him in next to the bed.  He likes that much better but I'm too nervous that he'll somehow get tangled up and instead of sleeping, I just keep my eyes half open in bed.
8:00 am: Ryan wakes up and without saying anything, picks up the bouncer chair, takes it out of the room, and closes the door.  I love him.
I get amazingly uninterrupted sleep for a full hour.  Thank goodness.  It's just enough to help me feel like I really can face the new day.  I got just shy of 4 hours total.  Harder than most nights but not so rough as some.  I'd give it a 7/10. Still...I think it's time for a new plan.

Christmas with Bears 'n Biscuits

This was the first year that Bears was able to really get into Christmas.  It was some fun times.  Biscuits got into it as well by being extra jolly.

Prettiest Apple Ever and Randoms

I was walking through the produce aisle of the market and I stumbled upon this beauty here.  It was the most glorious apple I'd ever seen.  We're talking fairy tale perfect. And it was called...Rome. Could I dare hope that they had finally created an apple that was both pretty and tasty?  With a name like Rome, it seemed not only plausible but inevitable that this would be the most delicious apple of all time.

I rushed home, snapped a couple shots of it to document the gloriousness of it all, then greedily sunk my teeth in...

bleh.  Disgusting.  Possibly even more revolting than the ironically-named red delicious.  The skin was leathery, the meat inside dry and grainy..and the worst part was possibly the red that had seeped through the skin into the apple, making it look like I'd been biting it with heavily bleeding gums.

Bears was seduced by the looks of this one as well and really wanted to try it.  After taking a bite, he said "oh dear...it's old, mommy.  it's really too old." and handed it back.  He's never tried an apple before that he didn't like.

Well.  My hat is certainly NOT off to you, apple breeders.  Apple geneticists.  Whatever you're called.

Alright, here are some random things that Bears has said recently:

Mmmmm....shave cream!  I have whiskers, mommy.  GET ME SOME DINNERRR!!

Bears: Oooo...more creams!
Me:  is that safe, honey?
Bears: it smells like...it smells like safe!  mmm! SAFE! Smell, mommy.  Smells just like safe, you will see.

(talking on the phone to my dad)
Papa: Bears, do you wanna come up to my house to play tomorrow?
Bears: Oh, yes sir!  Right 'way sir!