Family Visit, Fox's Bday Party, and Randoms

Ryan's brother Nathan just had his graduation ceremony at BYU and Ryan's parents, his aunt Janeen, her friend Carol, Nathan, Lauren, and Dom came down to the Provo town for varying amounts of time as a result and we all got to hang out for a few days. It was pretty fun times. For the first time since we moved in, this house didn't feel slightly/way too huge. Now that everyone's gone it feels huge all over again. And a smidge lonely. Ah well.

Locke was sad that he couldn't go back with Pops and Grandma on their plane. Also, he developed his first ever crush. It was on Janeen's neighbor, Carol. He spent much of his time trying to get her to hang out with him and read to him and even whispered in my ear that I should tell her that he thinks she's really pretty. After they left, he asked me if he could marry her when he grows up. He was not happy to learn that she's already married to someone else.

 We also had a birthday party for Fox (now that he's 2, I'm really feeling the pressure to use his actual name even though it's possible that he'll always be Biscuits in my heart at this point) while everyone was in town. I decorated a little Yo Gabba Gabba cake for him since he's been obsessed ever since finding Locke's old Yo Gabba Gabba shoes that have all the characters on them. He spends every moment that I'll allow wearing those things so it wasn't too surprising that he was pumped about the cake. Ryan's mom made everything look super fancy with party decorations, Ryan rented a big water slide and made ribs and Ryan's dad, my mom, and uncle Dewey made tasty side dishes. It was some good times.  Here's the decor:

So the other day, Fox got a very serious, concerned look (pictured above) on his face while Ryan and I were getting him ready in the morning. He looked up at Ryan and said, "I luh you, dad," and quickly looked down, clearly feeling vulnerable from the disclosure. It was pretty adorable.

Locke suckered me into letting him wake up from nap time early by parading out in this ensemble that he put together himself.

Fox pretty much always sleeps snuggled up with his kitty. My favorite is when he uses her for a pillow.

Biscuits is Two!

This happy boy turned two years old on Monday. He is such a fun-loving and laid back kid and has been ever since he was around 6 months old or so. He never did enjoy being a tiny baby but ever since learning to sit up, he has been super pumped about life. Good ol' Fun Time Biscuits.

We started the big day by going to Tracy Aviary where our friend Gerry gave him the dashing outfit that he's sporting in all these pictures. Then in the afternoon, he had a lollipop party in the backyard with Bears.

Then when Ryan got home we had a quiet party, just the four of us with the specifics hand picked by Biscuits himself. We plan on having a bigger party for him when Ryan's parents come to town as well.




Happy Birthday, Biscuits, we love you to bits!

Time

Time is a tricky thing to process. Well, it is for me, anyway. Here's a video that logs a bit of my and Ryan's years together so far. It's crazy how quickly it seems that things change.

Lucy Loves Windows

With all these windows, there are only about 2 hours in any given day that there isn't any direct sunlight for Lucy to nap in. Those two hours are sad, sad times. She usually spends them pouting in my bedroom.

Music

**DISCLAIMER--this post is meant to be read with music. I refuse to accept responsibility for this post seeming really lame unless you at least try it out with the music. I'm looking at you, Ryan.**

So since this blog is about music and how it affects us, I'm including a piece of music that I really enjoy to augment the writing. Hopefully it's not too big of a pain to indulge me and push play before reading on. It will be worth it, I promise. I can't say for sure how the song will make you feel but I can say that you'll at least think it's pretty.



A lot of people really enjoy sharing music with others, myself included. I've come to realize lately that, with few exceptions, we're not trying to share the song so much as we're trying to share a feeling. But feeling the same thing as another person is tricky business, even with a tool like music to help guide you. Brain chemistry, personal experiences, and cultural attitudes all play integral roles in what we feel when we experience any form of art. Setting aside differences in brain chemistry that limit us all in varying ways as far as accessing the emotions that the musician is trying to tap into, we all value emotions uniquely.

Take love, for instance. In our culture, romantic love is revered and so when we hear a song that elicits that feeling, most of us appreciate that as a positive thing. But if someone raised in a culture that equivocates romantic love with being a flighty, horny-pants creeper, they might not appreciate it in the same way at all--even if the song manages to tap into their emotions the exact same way. I think that's fascinating. And it leads me to my point: I was listening to a song today and I felt something...great. I'm hoping that if I write the experience down that you'll be able to feel what I felt to some degree so that I'm not just sharing this song but the emotion that it helped me gain access to.

For me, the holy grail of emotion is a cocktail of intense love, longing, and--because of the ever-present knowledge of impermanence--mourning. But the knowledge that everything I love, myself included, will one day be lost makes these moments so exquisitely, painfully beautiful that the feeling becomes intoxicating--even addictive. A combination of music, exercise, and being outside in nature are the only surefire combination to tapping into that feeling.

I was out on a run today and the serendipitous timing of the song, the place on the road, and the seeds of emotion already within me allowed me once access to the feeling. Only this time it was taken even a step beyond what I'm normally able to experience. It was as if, just for a moment, time stopped being linear and I could see the entire thing--past, present, and future laid out in front of me like everything was all happening at once. I saw myself being taken care of as a helpless babe by my parents, just as I saw myself caring for my babies and then my parents when they're in the twilight of their lives.  I saw myself at the point where I'll need round-the-clock care. And I hoped that when my turn comes to need that help that I will have been able to direct enough love outward into others (and be lucky enough) that caring for me is not a burden to them but a natural expression love. Because we all fall. The fact that our bodies will someday turn against us is, to me, such a powerful motivator to both enjoy everything that our bodies can currently do for ourselves as well as others. I don't know how much longer my body will be up to the task of facilitating my desires but it can now and that is so incredibly wonderful. The fact that I'm not able to feel constant gratitude for it is the only tragedy.

But. Music is a fantastic tool in feeling and glimpsing, if just for a moment, the important things. Can you feel it? And what is your favorite emotion to tap into?

The New House

Helen pointed out that I have yet to post any pictures of our new place which I guess I need to remedy because it is the whole reason we moved to Provo, after all. :)


Outside

Front door

Kitchen

Living Room

Main Stairway

Stairway/living room

Sunrise from living room

Worth the 40 mile move, right? I feel like we had no choice; our hands were tied. Bonus--I'm really enjoying Provo so far. It's a total happy coincidence that we seem to actually like the area that our house happens to be located.

Bears is 4!

Bears just celebrated his 4th birthday and my mom had the brilliant idea to make his birthday celebration a costume party. At Bears' request, the cake and other birthday treats were all spooky:

He invited all of his family and friends and I must say, it was some pretty grand times.

I was not there to see this but apparently, Biscuits and their cousin Dom were having a grand time with the trash can and both got pretty caught up in the delight of doing super naughty stuff like taking things out and then putting them back into the trash can. They couldn't believe their luck at being able to get away with such a thing.

Here is Bears in his full spooky glory. This costume was...much scarier in person than the packaging led me to believe. I kind of felt like an abusive parent after seeing what it really looked like but on the bright side, Bears sure was pumped about it. The spookier the better as far as he's concerned.

Bears has been pretty passionate about dressing up since he was two years old and his excitement over costumes just continues to get more and more intense. On any given day he'll dress up in at least a few different costumes and it's not unusual for him to spend the majority of his free time changing into various ensembles. He's also gotten really into organizing them all. It's really cute to see him carefully put his various outfits in the special shelves and cubbies that he's designated for them.

Here's the happy birthday video. Ryan pointed out that he had a cute delighted smile on his face the whole time and I'm so glad that my dad managed to get it on video because I was too distracted to notice it at the time. Would have been a shame to miss it.


His actual birthday was a couple of weeks after the party and we celebrated with just our little family. I asked him which he liked better--the big party with all his friends and family or the tiny party with just us and he said, "BOTH!" Very excitedly. Of course, it really isn't surprising since he did receive costumes on both days. Here's the video of just us singing happy birthday to Bears in his new pirate costume:

Mr. Rogers

A few weeks ago, Bears walked up to me wearing a button-up shirt with slacks, a tie, and an inside-out pajama jacket and informed me that he was Mr. Rogers. He continues to spend the majority of his time dressing up and I've got to admit, this particular costume is the most endearing of them all to me. Instead of reading stories before his nap today, he wanted to show me how Mr Rogers changes from his fancy suit coat and fancy shoes into his casual sweater and slip-on shoes. After taking off his suit coat (a jacket I got back in high school), he carefully hung it up and put his fancy shoes directly underneath in the closet. The intensity of his concentration was matched by the pride he clearly felt in being able to do this all by himself. He then took his inside-out pajama top of the hanger and put it on in a fastidious way, making sure everything looked perfect, before slipping on his casual shoes. After examining the getup critically in the mirror and finding it acceptable, he decided that it was time to get back into the fancy stuff again. As he was buttoning up his "suit coat," he looked at me with worried eyes and asked if Mr Rogers could have more than one button on his coat and was very relieved when I told him yes.

Here he is, just about ready:

Annd panicking because he's just realized that it's all just a farce without a tie:

Much better. Bonus, this outfit seems to double for Harry Potter as well. I'm sure that'll come in handy when he's a bit older.

Provo Tales

So we found a lovely glass house on a beautiful tree-filled 1/2 acre lot. Both Ryan and I loved it immediately which is a pretty big deal because in about five years of browsing houses together, that has never happened. So we didn't hesitate and purchased the sucker. Oh, and it's in Provo.  We've heard stories of Provo being a...less-than-ideal place to live but figured that it was just hype. I have to say, though, in the two weeks that we've been here, I've had some very colorful experiences with the local folk. Take last night, for instance.

I'd just pulled into the driveway and walked through the front door when Ryan noticed that a small car had pulled up behind mine. "uhh...so somebody followed you?" he said. A moment later, there was a knock on the door, which Ryan answered. On our doorstep stood a wiry, fidgety guy in his mid twenties. "Hi, Mr. Jolley, is Will here?" he said.

Okay, so first off, Jolley is the last name of the people that used to live here. And they're both in their late 60's. And white. But maybe this guy really was a friend of the Jolleys and is just one of those people who don't see race. Or age. Or defining features, height or build. Like the ultimate example of a super progressive person back in the 90's.

"Oh, I'm not Mr Jolley." said Ryan and he went on to explain about how the Jolleys had moved out and asked if there was anything that we could do for him. The guy fixed both of us in a blank, glassy stare and asked if we were Mormons. We said that both of our families were LDS and very active but that we were not. "Ahh black sheep!" he said excitedly,  "Me too! High five!!" Then followed the most awkward high fives in all of history. He attempted to also high five Bitties but Bitties just looked terrified, cried, "mama!" and clung to my pants. Then the guy caught sight of Lucy and decided to try and engage her but she stayed doggedly (har har) where she was, giving him that unnerving, googly-eyed look that she's so good at. Since engaging the kid and dog wasn't working, he decided to tell us all about himself.

He'd just started going back to church after years of inactivity and showed off his "G's" through his shirt. I asked him if it felt good to get back into it. He grimaced and said, "I guess. I'm dating a girl and she wants to get married in the Temple, so..." He trailed off and looked at me for encouragement. I guess my expression wasn't very encouraging because he changed the subject. "So are you guys from here?" he asked. We told him that we were from Salt Lake but we really liked the house and figured that Provo wasn't too far away. "But..." he said, "it's...Provo. You really moved all the way out here just for a house? There are houses everywhere! Didn't anyone ever tell you that it sucks here? I hate Provo!" He then proceeded to tell us about his amazing home up on the east bench of Provo that had the best views ever. This was followed by silence on our end. Then more silence.

"So!" he said, "I'd just like to leave you fine people with one last thought. What's the most important thing in life?"

"Well it's houses, obviously." I joked. He looked at me sadly and said, "no...no. It's family. Look at your child!" He gestured emphatically at Biscuits, "THAT. That is the most important thing. And the VERY  MOST important thing is for you to find your own personal god, or creator, or entity, or whatever that thing might be and to do WHATEVER it tells you to. There is nothing more important than that. It's the only thing that will give your life any purpose." He then bared his teeth at us menacingly, pointed to his mouth and said, "and always do this!" I'm wondering what in the world he could be getting at until he explains, "smile. It's scientifically proven that you can only be happy if you're smiling. Well, it was lovely to meet you! I'm Jameson. Good night!"*

Ryan closed the door and we just looked at each other for a moment, wondering what that exchange was. We agreed that he certainly did seem to have conviction and hoped that Jameson's own personal entity didn't have nefarious intentions towards us or we were in trouble.

Annnd that's basically Provo so far. A bunch of passionate people who exuberantly share their varied views--the only one that just about everyone seems to agree on is just how terrible Provo is. Someone should really start some sort of city pride campaign. Poor Provo is bound to get a complex with all this trash talking.

*After he read this, Ryan has informed me that while I included most of the conversation, I somehow didn't manage to convey how awkward and uncomfortable the whole experience was. I will just say that this conversation with Jameson lasted almost 15 minutes--and in that entire time, we never got a clue as to why he was there and what he wanted. So that right there should give at least some indication as to the strangeness.

Experiments

Bears is super pumped about experiments--aka anything involving baking soda/vinegar or soda/mentos combinations.  It must either explode or at least make a big fizzy mess in order to be a true experiment. Obviously. Biscuits even gets excited about it occasionally these days.

Also, Bears is pretty obsessed with this song called Royals by Lorde lately and insisted that it be used in the video.