Texas Trip and Finally a Video from Easter

Last month, we all went out to Texas to visit Ryan's side of the family.  It was some fun times.  Bears had a grand time playing on the beach.  His favorite activities included: swimming in the big waves with Grandma and, later, Daddy, trying to sneak his cousins' beach toys, and dumping wet sand all over his uncle Randy.  I really feel like I blew it by not documenting that last one.

 Biscuits really enjoyed the beach as well.  His favorite things were splashing in the shallow water, playing with beach toys, and dipping his finger in the sand, then putting it in his mouth.  I loved how delicate he was with his sand tasting.

Biscuits was such a mellow gentleman on the trip.  I was surprised by how well he did.  He wasn't able to nap more than about 15 minutes on our travel days but managed to be happy nearly all the time.  Once we arrived and he had access to a crib whenever he got sleepy, he did great and slept really well.

Bears had a much harder time with sleep. He never really managed to get a good nap and we usually couldn't get him to go to bed before 11 at night.  So he was a bit...emotional on the trip but still managed to have a good time overall.

Bears insisted on wearing his full Captain America costume on the trip out to Texas.  It actually worked out really well for the airport as far as being able to keep an eye on him since we could not keep that wild cub from running around like crazy.

Ryan's parents threw Biscuits his first birthday party, complete with giant pinata and his own special dairy/soy free cake. I'm hoping that Ryan managed to get some pictures that I can update with later.

During the trip, Biscuits developed some amazing kissing skills.  Well.  You've really got to see for yourself:


And finally, here's a pretty epic video of our last easter.  It's taken me so long to post it because I had grand plans of editing it...which never came to fruition.  Well. Not yet, anyway. It could still happen but in the meantime, I figured I'd better get to posting it sometime before next easter.

Out and About

Okay so first, check out this picture I just found.  Pretty amazing, right?  It's got nothing to do with this post though.  Except that every post should have a picture. It's the mark of good taste, as they say.

Out at the market today, the boys and I had the pleasure of meeting Bradley.  As always, I was almost completely oblivious to my surroundings and was disdainfully poking through various raw meats and trying to decide which was the least disgusting, when I heard a very loud, "help!" coming from behind me.  I turned to see a guy in an electric wheelchair who was struggling, and failing, to balance a basket of food and a 24-pack of water bottles on his lap. He introduced himself and said that he needed help with turning his basket around, which was easy enough to do, although it was hard to say whether it actually helped.

I stood there for a bit, awkwardly wondering what I should do next while Bradley struggled to keep his groceries in his lap.  Finally, it occurred to me to ask if there was anything else I could do.  It seemed like it was as much of a struggle for him to find the right words as it was for him to move his limbs but eventually, he was able to tell me that he didn't know what else he wanted to get, but whatever it was, it had to be easy to make.  I looked at what he had: Milk, water, eggo waffles, and otterpops, and realized that he was missing a key food group -- pizza pockets.  I loaded a giant bag of them into his basket before it occurred to me that his basket wouldn't be constantly on the verge of falling to the floor if I just put it into my cart.  I also realized just then that he was going to have to get all this stuff back home and asked him how he was planning on doing all that.

He said that this was his third time to the grocery store since moving out on his own and he was still working out the kinks but he was planning on taking all the water bottles out of the pallet and stuffing them, along with everything else, in his bag that was hanging over the back of his chair.  I was somewhat dubious about him pulling off such a feat (even though I'm sure people would jump in and help, I couldn't help but picture him struggling in the meantime) so I asked him if I could help him check out and arrange everything. He was pretty nonchalant about the whole thing, not trying to guilt me into doing more for him and also not acting as though I was some sort of busy body for continuing to ask if I could help.  Which...I kind of felt like anyway.  While simultaneously feeling like I was doing laughably little for someone who had it so much harder than I do.  Strange mix of feelings, that.

While we were waiting to check out, Bears commented on Bradley's full arm tattoo. I couldn't read it but he proudly told me it said, "psychopathic juggalo." Not knowing what a juggalo was, and too scared to ask since I knew what psychopathic meant, I just laughed nervously.  And I have...the worst. nervous. laugh. ever. I don't know what to compare it to but basically, I charm the hell out of people with it.  Or so I'm told.  Told by myself, that is.  But I suppose that's neither here nor there.  When it came time to pay, he asked for help in getting his Horizon card out and swiping it.  When he reached to enter his pin, the true extent of his disability showed.  It took almost 30 seconds of him trying to wrangle his arm and hand to do his mind's will. I cannot even imagine what that must be like.  But I guess no one can who's body has yet to betray them like that.

While I was getting his stuff all arranged, he started telling me about how he had been hit by a car and that's what had led to him being in his current state. It was so poignant, thinking of him being completely capable and self sufficient not long ago, just like me.   The only thing differentiating our fates is simple bad timing on his end.  It was such a...humbling thought. After I'd gotten his stuff all loaded up, I asked if there was anything else I could do.  He said, "nope,"  and offered his hand.  I took it, thinking he meant to shake it but with surprising strength, he wrenched my hand down, pulling my face close to his.  It was at this point that I remembered his tattoo reading something about being a psychopath and I realized that I may have made a huge mistake...when he planted a kiss on my cheek and enveloped me in a bear hug.  I can't really put into words the incredible warm-fuzziness of that moment.  It was pretty great

I started to blush something furious, he teased me for it, and we said our goodbyes. I just...I can't imagine the amount of courage that it takes to go about daily life with a disability like that.  And to be warm and open to other people instead of just bitter and closed off...it was.  well.  It was something pretty cool to be around.  I should also mention that I'm so proud of the boys for being champs.  It was such a little thing, 20 minutes of our time, but those with tiny kids know that they can make 20 minutes turn into an eternity if they're so inclined.  Especially at the grocery store.

Oh.  and Google tells me that Psychopathic Juggalo is an Insane Clown Posse reference, in case anyone was concerned.  I guess finding that out could lead to further worry, though, if you're the type to stress over someone's taste in music.

How to use limited spare time well: photoshop your baby's picture 'til they're unrecognizable...and I daresay creepy

Did I succeed?  I sure hope so because I spent like an hour on this puppy.

I was inspired by this photo here:

I'd classify this picture as haunting/artsy...whereas my attempt is a bit more 1800's baby who's currently haunting your house.  So...pretty close, right?

Here's a side by side with the original:

Randoms with pictures and videos!

I came into the kitchen one day and found this guy peepin' around through a hole that he'd made in his play doh.  He told me that it was his mask.  He's real into masks these days.  I helped him out by adding another eye and even a mouth hole.  Really classed it up, don't you think?  Not creepy at all.

Instead of eating in his highchair one morning, he decided to curl up in a stray beam of sunlight in our laundry room.  After I'd finished making his oatmeal, he took the bowl over to the little pool of light and started to get settled in, paused, turned back to me and said, "I want to sit in my highchair.  So I don't have to sit in the sun." In our entire 900 square foot apartment, just that one square foot had any direct sunlight.  Worked out for me though.  I'm a big fan of the kids eating in their highchairs.

Ryan got Bears a whole bunch of wooden-looking-but-actually-foam shapes that can be used to build all sorts of cool stuff but he's more interested in wearing them.  He'd been trying to balance that thing on his nose for hours when it occurred to him that it needed a strap.  I hooked him up and he was pretty pumped.  Clearly he looked like the coolest guy ever in that mask, his "black darth vader" cape, his "old MacDonald" hat, and red light saber.

He also went down a slide one time.

 Bears was pretty pumped when he got a hold of this old red wig.

 Sleepy time with Daddy

The suavest, soulful-est spider man ever. 

This one time I made lunch.  This is proof.  I am very domestic.  Alright fiiiine.  It's a tv dinner, you caught me.  hope you're proud of yourself.

He gave himself a real fright by being Spider man.

Apparently I'd just caught each of them doing something.  Guilty looks all around...

Hi!

"I eat snakes for my bitty breakfast!" Biscuits is so hardcore.

I don't know.  Except that this was Bears' idea.  I...uhh.  yup.

Annnd a bunch of videos for Grandmas:

Biscuits Clapping:


Diddum gave Bears a birthday Ecard.  It was a big time hit:


Bears teaching Biscuits to growl:


Biscuits has this desperate need to swing backwards all the time:


Biscuits decided today that the thing to do is say "eh?" It's good times:


Bears reading a story:

Bears 'n Biscuits Love Bouncing

Look at these cute, cuddly boys!

For Bears' birthday, we went to a warehouse full of bouncy castles.  Well.  Former warehouse. Crap.  I do not know the definition of a warehouse.  I guess bouncy castles could be considered their wares...and they are housed by the building.  So.  It's a bouncy warehouse.  And it was a hit.  and...I'm trying to think of a way to tie the zoo in as well, since it's also in the video.  but there's no connection.  blast it.  also, something about a bike.  well.  I shouldn't spoil it for you. (spoiler: he rides a bike at the end.  sort of.)

Learning to Talk

The other night, just as I was about to put Biscuits to bed, I noticed him staring at the light. He, like his brother and nearly every other baby before him, is obsessed with lights. I have to be careful to block off all light in the room when it's time to nurse him because if there's a stray beam anywhere, he'll find it and will fixate on it, unable to nurse no matter how starving he may be. On this particular night, I decided to spend some extra time trying to teach him the word "light" since he's right around the age (10-11 months) that Bears was when he said his first word. Which was, of course, "light."

 As he was staring at the light, I said the word. He looked, transfixed, at my mouth. I said it again. He looked back and forth from the light to my mouth several times and I could see the moment when it all clicked. His eyes widened and he got a huge grin on his face. Then he opened his mouth, took a deep breath and said, "...anaaanaaa!" His brow twitched. "AnaaaAA!" A look of frustration and confusion crossed his face, then he let out a desperate, "ananaaannaaaAAAGHHGHH!!!!" Finally, he succumbed to despair and burst into tears. Poor little friend. It's got to be very frustrating to know what you want to say but be totally unable to say it.

Oh and I just realized that I only posted their laughing video on Facebook so I'd better throw it up here as well for Grandma:

Happiness

This evening we decided to take a walk down to the park, something we do fairly often these days now that we live less than a block away from one. Ryan and Bears were walking just ahead of me and bitty Biscuits snuggled up against my back in his carrier. The sun was about an hour from setting so it was right smack in our eyes. I couldn't see much of anything except for the silhouette of Ryan and Bears up ahead, a bright halo of sunlight surrounding them. I was struck with the idealistic image of father and son: the only defining characteristics were Ryan's height and broad shoulders, and then Bears' tiny size and bouncy, awkward gait as he loped alongside him. I felt a tightening sensation in my chest as I thought about how I get to call them mine -- my family. It was one of those moments that you'll have occasionally where you can tell will be etched into your permanent memory banks, something to grasp for when times are hard. It's the perfect knowledge of what happiness feels like...in this case, it's warm sunlight and my boys. Also, happiness smells like spring. Figures.

Baby Eyes

Bears was born with dark brown eyes so prior to Biscuits, I'd never witnessed the phenomenon of  my baby's eyes changing from steel gray to...whatever mysterious color genetics has in store. It's been fun to watch the brown slowly bleed into the gray and take over.  I'm guessing that the outer ring will eventually turn green, just like his mama's, papa's, and diddum's eyes but only time will tell.

Love You Forever

Lately, Bears favorite bedtime book is Love You Forever.  If you've never heard of it, it's basically the story of a crazy mom who continues to sneak into her sleeping son's bedroom at night, pick him up, rock him and sing to him well into his adulthood. I'm assuming that it's not meant to be taken literally and the point is that the mother will always love her child with the same fierceness that she did when he was a baby. Here's the song:

I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My baby you'll be

Towards the end of the story, she tries to sing the song to her son but she's too old and sick, so instead, he picks her up, rocks her, and sings the song, substituting "mommy" for "baby." Then goes home to his new baby daughter and starts the singing/rocking tradition over with her. We've read it at least 30 times now but my voice still gets suspiciously husky toward the end.  I think it was Ryan's mom who got it for Bears when he was first born but I can't remember for sure.  It's really a good one though.  I highly recommend it.

The best part is that as I'm tucking him in to go to sleep, Bears likes me to sing the song again to him...except that I have to say "big boy" instead of baby. He's very insistent that he is the big boy and bitty Biscuits is the baby.  After I'm done, he puts his hand gently on my arm and sings the song back to me with "mommy" at the final line.  Blast it but it's a doozy.  Mostly because the song itself is a nostalgic reminder of how fleeting and precious these moments are.  I feel so very lucky that I get to be the mommy of this wonderful, troublesome,  loving, and rambunctious cub.

Out and About: The Strange Slew of Friendly People

You know those days where you feel isolated and disconnected even when surrounded by a sea of people? Seems like most of my days have been like that lately.  Normally when I go out with the boys, people walking by or waiting in line with us dutifully ignore our existence (I reciprocate, of course.  I am anything if not...not social. and also highly proficient with the use of double negatives.  but I digress).  The most we usually get are looks of disdain (when Bears is screaming) or pity (when they're both screaming). But not today.  I don't know what on earth happened but nearly every stranger we ran into treated us like family or old friends.

We started the day by going for a walk with Poopers, Kins, and Max.  It was some good times, as always, with good conversation and minimal tantrumming from the toddlers.  The strange happenings occurred when we headed out to the market after naps.  As we were waiting in line to return some items, the lady behind us struck up a conversation about her 3-year-old great grandson and how much she missed him, as she'd just started a full 2-year mission with her husband.  She was very sweet and tried to engage both boys while talking to me.  Soon the lady behind her started talking to us as even gave Bears his first piece of gum, for which he was ridiculously grateful and kept repeating "wow.  how neat!" over and over again while popping it in and out of his mouth.

After the return was over and we started out actual shopping, it seemed like every time we stopped to look at something, neighboring people would share some sort of anecdote about their own kids with me.  While waiting in the checkout line, a teenage couple behind us played silly games with Bears the entire 10 minutes that we were waiting and even narrated what Biscuits (riding on my back) was thinking, "MOMMMM...I'm pretty sick of being here, let's go HOooOOOMe."

As I was putting the groceries in the back of the car, Bears was yelling his heart out what sounded something like the 60's batman theme song, but I couldn't be certain...that is, I couldn't be certain until a lady roughly 20 yards a way from us started loudly singing "danna nanna nanna nanna na--BATMAN!" and then walked towards us and just as I was taking Bears out of the cart, takes the cart off my hands, says "some people never grow up," with a wink and heads into the store.  Whaaaa...? Is this the kind of thing that happens regularly to most people?  If so, I have really been missing out with all these years of hermitting about.  That is, going out while still managing to avoid just about all social interaction.

It feels so...foreign to feel this kind of connection with so many strangers in a normally non-social atmosphere. Almost makes me think that it might be worth coming out of my bubble so that instances like this won't be quite so rare.  Almost.