Recently we said goodbye to our fierce and noble ruler, Lord Tugboat. Mighty was his power and great was his wrath. I first met Tugboat when he was a lowly captain, overseeing an organization affiliated with the Humane Society called Furburbia (it of course fell to ruin and closed just months after he left). I often stopped by the place to look at the animals but as of yet, none had caught my eye. Wandering around, I finally found myself in the back of the facility where I saw...well. Words cannot describe it. It was a glorious vision of a poofy black persian cat who didn't have full control of his tongue (it was lolling out the side). There was a cute little sign on his cage that read: Hello, my name is Tugboat *insert cute little drawing of a sail boat...clearly the author of his description didn't have a firm grasp of the meaning of his name* and I am a special needs kitty. I was found roaming the streets, eating out of garbage cans and ferociously attacking criminals. Unfortunately, as a result of all these battles, I lost nearly all of my teeth and the few that remained had to be pulled, due to the fact that they were blackened with decay (the result of some scheming on the part of my enemies I am sure). I am the former ruler of all of Europe and have recently come across hard times and am now in search of a new continent or country to rule. You will provide this for me or be killed.
To be honest, I don't remember the exact words, but you get the idea. I was lacking a proper continent but I felt compelled to at least provide this fierce young nobleman with the best country I could. However, first I had to officially meet him. I opened his cage, started to pet him, and realized that he had the loudest purr I'd ever heard. He was rumbling away, even as he turned toward my hand and bit me. HARD. Even without teeth, he still managed to make it hurt. I was a little intimidated by that and decided that maybe I should go home and think it over. I discussed him the next day with my friend Tess who told me that I was a total idiot for not swooping him up when I had the chance. I realized that she was right and as soon as we had the time, she and I went down and picked him up. I only hoped desperately that my apartment would suffice as a place to rule...and that he never found out that it wasn't an actual sovereign nation. Here is the picture that she took from her cell phone as soon as we got him home.
As you can see, he was a bit disheveled but clearly still a glorious and mighty cat. Within a few days of bringing him home, he was keeping his tongue in his mouth and I'm proud to say that it almost never lolled out again. He ruled over my household for 8 years, and I can honestly say that they were the most amazing and terrifying years of my life. He was a true force to be reckoned with. Luckily, before he died he had time to train our son (Ryan's and my son, just to dispel any rumors) in the proper way to rule a nation. And Locke has sure been following his advice to the letter. He's the new Young Master and is pretty amazing at giving orders so far. So thank you, Lord Tugboat, for starting a Dynasty. You will be sorely missed.RIP Tuggy Buggy 1942-6/3/2010
